Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Review: Bladder Up!

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Review: Bladder Up![EXTRACT]

What are we doing, readers? Did we just spend a half hour of our lives watching Kris Jenner talk about her bladder and her vagina? Have we no dignity?!?

While I re-consider how I spend my free time, let's review the latest scripted episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, THG style!

Kris Jenner often pees herself. MINUS 7 because I don't care and because that's gross.

There's apparently a rule of no phones at the dinner table in this household. Multiple TV cameras, though? No problem! PLUS 9.

Kris is upset because her kids keep giving her a hard time over her bladder in front of strangers. Unless me and her are tighter than I realized, MINUS 19 for her complaining about this to a TV camera.

Bruce hopes to "inspire" others at a local heli-park. MINUS 12. Bruce Jennifer is an Olympian decathlete, folks.

These girls have to understand the value of money and hard work, Bruce says about his daughters. It's true. PLUS 3 because you can't just lie down, turn on a camera and invite Ray J into your room to get somewhere in life.

Kim uses the word "romantical." MINUS 47.

MINUS 112 because Kourtney just brought up her mom's "leaky vagina."

We just watched Kris Jenner get a gynecological exam. MINUS 879.

Kourtney and Kris are now doing simultaneous kegel exercises. MINUS 1,179. This is the worst half hour of my life.

PLUS 11 for Kylie and Kendall going to a downtown mission and meeting the first black people they've ever seen who aren't dating one of their siblings.

Kris turns her bladder leaking into an endorsement deal. Our pain is her monetary pleasure, people. MINUS 83.

EPISODE TOTAL: -2,247. SEASON TOTAL: -2,581

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